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My name is Shanti bai Agrawal. I am from Bhagalpur in Bihar. It takes 12 hrs. to reach there from Kolkata. My papa and mummy were from Bhagalpur. My home later was in Orissa. I did not have children. My husband died and 12 -13 years passed. I came here ma. My Gopal takes care of me well here. He bestows everything upon me. I may say to Gopal: I will eat butter. He brings it and gives to me. I may say, "O Son! I would like to go out. How shall I go?"  At that he provides me with a motor-cycle.

Just as flowers, roses bloom in the river Jamna, in the same way my mind is filled with contentment.  There is no moment of despondence. Just live in this state of repose. 

I asked: What is your age?

My age is more than 80 years.

Yashoda ma and manager tell me not to go out. Gopal ji pulls me there. When it is 4.30 there is a voice within asking, 'why are you not going? Why are you not going?' One day I was going. A cycle rickshaw was coming. It went over me. I had a swelling. The rickshaw wallah was getting beaten. I said "I have been hit. Why is the rickshaw wallah being beaten? By hitting him will my injury heal? Go son. You are free to go. Whatever has happened, has happened." 

For 2 days I suffered. On the third day I recovered.

I said: This was meant to happen. 

Yes. God tests us a lot. All the time God is testing us. 

I asked: Why does God test us?

If he does not send difficulties, how will people say his name? 

When I came to Vrindavan, I stayed hungry for 4 days and slept. At that time a young girl came. It was 4.00 a.m. She said, "why are you sleeping? Get up." Then she went away.

I was going towards the Jamna. Bengali women were going for kirtan. I said I would also like to go. Then the kirtan ended. 

The manager sent for me and asked: "Mother, where have you come from?" I answered. He said, "return. Go back."

I said, "I won't go back."

He bought clothes; gave me sarees, petticoats. Thus I stayed for 4 months. Yet, ma God tests us to evaluate us many times, very many times. Thereafter, He / She brings us to His ? Her favour (kripa.)

I asked: when Prabhu tests us what ought we to do?

She said, what should we do? She started to take God's name thus: ' hare Ram hare Ram Ram hare hare ....'

These names have 16 letters. When spoken they alter your mind.

It's easy to say, harder to practise. I counsel you, but this body is filled with thorns. There are thorns filling me. 

I asked: what are these thorns?

The thorns are our bad karmas such as arrogance (ahankar,) pride. These are thorns; what else is thorns? Retaliating if someone says something to us. These are thorns. 

When a person dies, people clothe the body. They carry it saying, "Ram nam sat hai." When there is a birth they do not say, "Ram nam sat hai."  They rejoice with music saying: a boy has been born. 

What good did the boy do? Was he of any use? He was not of any use.

Only our karmas are of use. The karmas we perform, only they are of any use.

I asked: can you talk about the significance of karmas?

Shanti bai said, "what shall I say? I do not know anything. I just eat and lie down."